That First Special Kiss Page 17

  “I was just wondering how the party went last night.”

  Amber’s unusually subdued tone made Kelly frown in sympathy. She answered carefully. “It was the usual charity dance. Kind of dull. Not a lot of mingling between groups of acquaintances.”

  “Did you see Cameron?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did you...did you meet his date?”

  “Yes. She seemed pleasant enough, if a bit too polished—but that’s probably because of her TV job.”

  “I’ve seen her on the air. She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

  “She’s attractive,” Kelly admitted. “But then, she has to be, in her line of work.”

  “Were she and Cameron...? Did he...?”

  “They seemed to like each other well enough, but that was all,” she replied honestly, though she hoped she wasn’t raising Amber’s hopes again.

  “Did they dance?”

  “Amber, don’t do this. You’ll only make yourself miserable.”

  “I’m already miserable,” Amber replied with a sniffle.

  “This isn’t helping. You can’t sit around obsessing about what Cameron’s doing or whom he’s seeing. You have to find something else to do to occupy your mind until you get past this.”

  “I just really miss him, Kelly.”

  “I know you do,” she answered softly. “I know you’re in pain. And I wish I could help.”

  “Just don’t stop being my friend, okay?”

  “Of course not. In fact, why don’t we do something together this evening? We can go out for dinner—someplace really nice.”

  “Thanks, but my mother’s making dinner for me tonight. She’s trying to cheer me up.”

  Since Amber’s mother had made no secret of her disapproval of Amber’s affair with Cameron, Kelly hoped she wasn’t overdoing the I-told-you-so’s. “Some other time, then?”

  “Yes. I’d like that.”

  “Great. Call me when you’re free and we’ll set up a time.”

  “Okay. Sure. Um...do you think I should call Cameron? You know—just to say hi?”

  “No,” Kelly answered honestly again. “It’s over, Amber. You’re just going to have to accept it.”

  With a deep sigh, Amber replied, “I know. It was just a thought. You’re right, of course. I won’t call him.”

  Relieved, Kelly almost sighed herself. Instead she said bracingly, “Call me when you want to get together.”

  “I will. Bye, Kelly.”

  Kelly hung up her phone, then groaned and rubbed her hands over her face. What a way to wake up after last night, she thought ruefully. Was fate sending her a reminder of what could happen to her if she wasn’t very careful with Shane?

  As if she’d needed reminding.

  Because it had turned considerably colder during the night, she dressed in a bulky, waist-length sweater and loose-fitting carpenter jeans with warm socks and lace-up boots. She couldn’t help smiling as she hung up the flimsy wisp of a dress she’d worn the night before. She’d enjoyed dressing up for the evening, but she felt much more herself now in her ultracasual clothes.

  Shane had promised to come look at her car today, so she went to the trouble to put on a little makeup—a touch of eyeshadow, a quick sweep of blush and mascara. That was the extent of her primping for him. He had seen her dressed up and he had seen her in a hospital bed; much more than appearances were involved between her and Shane.

  She’d just finished a late lunch of tuna salad and wheat crackers when her doorbell rang. Setting her plate in the dishwasher, she dried her hands and hurried toward the door, excitement zipping through her as she wondered how Shane would greet her today.

  Her smile faltered when she saw that he was not alone. “Oh. Hello, Cameron. This is a surprise. Come in, both of you.”

  Cameron tipped an imaginary cap. “Auto club, ma’am. We got a call about an ailing car?”

  Shane chuckled. “Cameron showed up at my place just as I was about to leave. When he heard what was up, he insisted on following me over to help.”

  She eyed Cameron doubtfully. “Do you know anything about fixing cars, Cameron?”

  “I can hold a flashlight,” the mechanically challenged reporter answered cheerfully.

  “That’s what I thought,” she replied with a smile. “Pretty, but useless.”

  Not in the least offended by the teasing insult, Cameron laughed and reached out to drape an arm around her shoulders. “That pretty well sums me up.”

  Kelly felt a bit torn in her feelings about Cameron. She’d always liked him and enjoyed his dry humor, and she knew he was Shane’s best friend. But she was very fond of Amber, too, and she couldn’t forget the misery she’d heard in Amber’s voice earlier. What a sticky mess this had become, she thought, biting her lip.

  “Hand me your keys, Kelly, and I’ll see what’s wrong with your car.” There was little expression in Shane’s face as he studied her standing in the circle of Cameron’s arm.

  “Shane’s not exactly Mr. Personality today,” Cameron confided. “I don’t think he got enough sleep last night. The cows must have mooed beneath his bedroom window or something.”

  Kelly stepped away from Cameron to search for her keys. Her eyes met Shane’s briefly when she tossed them to him. For only a moment, she saw a glimmer of sensual awareness in his expression, and she felt an answering quiver deep inside her. But they must have hidden their feelings well. As sharply perceptive as he was, Cameron seemed to notice nothing unusual.

  “You’d better grab a jacket,” Shane advised when she started to follow them out. “It’s gotten cold. Feels like winter out there all of a sudden.”

  Both Shane and Cameron were wearing jackets—Shane’s lined denim, Cameron’s battered leather. “I’ll get my jacket and meet you at my car,” Kelly said, turning toward her bedroom.

  It was cold, she noticed when she stepped outside. A brisk wind tossed her hair and blew dried brown leaves across the parking lot. The wintry feel in the air reminded her again that Christmas was only two weeks away. She didn’t have much shopping to do, but she needed to get to it soon. She’d drawn Brittany Sample’s name, so she needed to buy something for her. She and Brynn always exchanged personal gifts, regardless of the Walker family drawing they both participated in now. She would buy small gifts for Heather and Amber, and for a couple of friends from her work.

  Now she wondered where she and Shane would stand by Christmas. Would they still be secret lovers? Would their affair have become public knowledge by then? Or would it be over?

  “Hey, zombie-face.” Cameron waved a hand in front of her eyes. “Wake up.”

  She wrinkled her nose at him. “I’m awake. I was just thinking about Christmas.”

  He groaned. “That’s enough to make me go zombie. I’ll just be glad when it’s over. The hype and syrupy sweetness is almost more than I can take. And of course I’m a villain now because I ruined Amber’s holidays.”

  She winced. “No one thinks of you as a villain, Cameron.”

  He didn’t look convinced. “Have you heard from Amber?”

  “She called me this morning.”

  “How is she?”

  Noting that his concern seemed sincere, she answered quietly, “She’s unhappy right now, but she’ll be okay.”

  Cameron pushed his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. His usual insouciance was missing when he said, “I really didn’t want to hurt her.”

  There was a part of her that still wanted to be angry with Cameron for hurting Amber. But she couldn’t. She liked Cameron, and she knew how determinedly Amber had pursued him. Once he’d realized what a mistake they had made, he had done his best to rectify it before it had become even more painful. That Amber had been hurt was as much her own fault as Cameron’s—if not more.

  Amber had made the mistake of wanting too much, of ignoring reality to concentrate on her fantasies, Kelly thought with a somber look at Shane.

  As if he’d felt her eyes on him, he
looked up from beneath the hood of her car. “Looks like you need a new alternator. I’ll run to the auto parts store and pick one up. It’ll only take me an hour to install it—or two, if Cam helps.”

  Cameron chuckled.

  “I really appreciate this,” Kelly said to Shane.

  “It’s no trouble. I’ll just get my tools out of the truck and take this one out first. You going to the auto parts store with me, Cam?”

  “Sure. It’s been a while since I’ve been to an auto parts store. Maybe I’ll buy one of those pine-scented things to hang from the rearview mirror of my Corvette.”

  Shane pointed a finger at his friend. “You can go with me, but I forbid you to embarrass me.”

  Cameron grinned. “Have I ever done that?”

  Shane only groaned and rolled his eyes.

  “While the two of you are working on my car, why don’t I make dinner for us?” Kelly suggested.

  Cameron tilted his head like a puppy who’d just heard an intriguing sound. “Dinner?”

  She smiled. “Lasagna? Spaghetti? Or maybe chili, since it’s such a cool day.”

  “Chili sounds good,” Shane said from beneath the hood of her car. “I haven’t had chili in a while.”

  Cameron nodded. “I’ll vote for chili.”

  Mentally running through the ingredients, and confident she had them all, she nodded. “I’ll go get started, then. Unless there’s something I can do to help you out here?”

  Shane looked at Cameron, who was playing with the flashlight. “I think I have all the help I need out here, thanks,” he said dryly.

  As Kelly returned to her apartment, she couldn’t help wondering if she’d just made a mistake. Would she and Shane be able to deceive Cameron during a cozy dinner for three?

  Cameron didn’t seem to notice anything unusual during a hearty dinner of salad, chili and jalapeño corn bread. Though conversation was brisk, they avoided any sensitive topics, talking about work and current events and music and films, but not about matters of the heart.

  They were having pineapple sherbet for dessert when the telephone rang. Kelly answered it, then winced when she heard Amber’s voice on the other end.

  “I forgot to tell you something earlier,” Amber said. “There’s a sale at McGinty’s Antiques next week. That little boudoir chair you like? It’s going to be forty percent off.”

  “Really? Thank you for telling me. I night just buy it for myself for Christmas.”

  “I thought you’d want to know. I’d stopped in there yesterday to pick up something for Mom, and the manager told me about the sale.”

  “Maybe you and I can go together next week.”

  “Sounds good. The sale starts Wednesday. Want to go then?”

  Before Kelly could answer, Cameron called out from the other room. “Hey, Kelly. Do you mind if I make a pot of coffee?”

  “Go ahead. You know where everything is,” she called back, then spoke into the phone again. “I’m free Wednesday, Amber. Let’s plan to go then.”

  There was a long silence on the other end of the line. And then Amber asked, “Was that Cameron?”

  She hadn’t thought Amber had been able to hear Cameron’s question through the phone line. She should have known her friend’s hearing was hypersensitive when it came to Cameron. “Um...yes, Cameron’s here.”

  “You mean you and Cameron are...?”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. Cameron and Shane are having dinner with me. Shane worked on my car today and Cameroon tagged along to help. I’m feeding them chili to thank them.”

  “I’m sorry. I guess I did leap to a ridiculous suspicion. I know you and Cameron are no more involved than...than you and Shane. I guess I’m still a little crazy from the breakup.”

  “I guess so,” Kelly agreed weakly.

  “I’ll let you get back to your guests.” There was a new note of wistfulness in Amber’s voice now. “See you Wednesday, okay?”

  “I’ll look forward to it.”

  What a sad situation, Kelly thought as she hung up the telephone. All of Cameron’s and Amber’s friends were being placed in the middle between them, torn by divided loyalties. She found herself actually feeling guilty for having Cameron to dinner, which was ridiculous, of course.

  Cameron pressed a cup of coffee into her hands when she rejoined him and Shane. “Your Christmas tree looks good,” he commented, nodding toward that corner. ”I like the minimalist look in decorations.”

  She made a face at him. “I’ll admit I don’t have many ornaments yet. This is my first tree. I’ll have to build up a collection over the years.”

  “Are you the kind who’s going to start a lot of sappy Christmas traditions?”

  “I hope so. I love Christmas traditions. My mother used to tell me about her childhood Christmases in Germany. I’ve always thought if I ever have children of my own, I’d like to incorporate bits of my mother’s Christmases into our family traditions.”

  The mention of having children made her suddenly aware that Shane was nearby, watching her. Though he had participated in the conversation at dinner, he had been a bit more subdued than usual. She found herself babbling to fill the gap. “What about you, Cameron? Does your family have any special traditions?”

  Cameron’s expression was suddenly hard. “Yeah. My mother goes on winter tours of Europe and my father spends a little more time than usual with his girlfriend. Of course they always made sure I had lots of presents under the tree Christmas morning. They were just never there to watch me open them.”

  Kelly looked at him in distress. “I...”

  “Forget it,” Cameron said abruptly, looking a bit chagrined that he’d revealed so much. “I tend to snarl during the holidays. I’ll be glad when they’re over.”

  He glanced at his watch. “I need to run by the newspaper for a few minutes. I guess I’ll be going. Thanks for dinner, Kelly. I really enjoyed it.”

  “Thank you for helping Shane fix my car.”

  Shane snorted. “Yeah. He held the flashlight very well.”

  “I’m still grateful,” Kelly said firmly.

  Cameron surprised Kelly with a kiss on her cheek. “So am I. Good night.”

  With a sketched salute to Shane, he let himself out, leaving Shane and Kelly alone.

  “What did he mean?” Kelly asked, turning to Shane. “That he was grateful for dinner?”

  “For that—and because you’re still his friend, even after what happened between him and Amber. He was a little worried that the gang would blame him.”

  “I wanted to blame him at first,” she admitted. “But it didn’t take me long to realize how unfair that was. Cameron and Amber simply made a mistake.”

  “Did they?” Shane toyed absently with one of the glass baubles on her Christmas tree.

  “How can you even ask that? Everyone can see what a painful mess it turned out to be.”

  “I’ll agree it ended badly, and was probably destined to do so. But was it really a mistake to try? Amber had fancied herself in love with Cameron for years. Until she found out for certain that it wouldn’t work, how could she get on with her life, maybe give someone else a chance? And I think Cameron secretly hopes he’ll find someone someday who’ll really understand him—who can fill the emptiness inside him left over from his unhappy childhood. It might have been Amber—how would he have known for sure if he didn’t give it a try? They’ll both get over this, and they’ll always know they gave it their best shot.”

  She stared at him. “I never realized you were such an astute observer of human relationships.”

  Shane’s cheeks darkened a bit. “It was just a thought. Everyone keeps saying they made a mistake, but I think they just answered a question. Unfortunately, the answer was painful for both of them.”

  “And for their friends,” she murmured.

  “Few relationships take place in a vacuum. There are always others involved—friends, family. Children, in the case of most divorces.”

  Kelly sw
allowed painfully. Shane had just succinctly summed up her fears about their relationship.

  He crossed the room to stand in front of her, his expression suddenly sympathetic. “Still predicting disaster?”

  “I...” Her voice trailed off as she bit her lip, uncertain how to answer.

  He rested his hands on her shoulders. “We aren’t Cam and Amber. There’s no reason to think we’ll turn out as badly.”

  Still biting her lip, she tried to find comfort in his words. But fear still lurked inside her, waiting to tarnish her time with him.

  Shane kissed her lightly, teasing her lip from her grasp, rubbing his mouth against hers until she couldn’t resist responding. She slid her hands up his arms, lacing them behind his neck.

  He was right, of course. They weren’t Cameron and Amber. But in some ways, the stakes were even higher for them, since their lives were intertwined even more intricately. Amber had a close family to turn to, as well as several good friends outside their “gang.” Cameron had family, though they weren’t close, and a large, loosely constructed network of friends he’d made through his work as a reporter. Cameron and Amber had complete, potentially satisfying lives away from each other.

  For Kelly it was different. Every close relationship she had now was in some way connected to Shane. Her best friend—the sister of her heart—was his cousin. The other close friends Kelly had made during the past couple of years—Heather and Amber—had originally been friends of Shane. She had made a few friends at school and at work, but none who were as close to her as the people she knew through Shane.

  Losing Shane at this point would be devastating. Losing everyone—being alone again—was an outcome she couldn’t even bear to consider.

  She pulled away from the kiss, stumbling a little, but quickly regaining her balance. “Do you want another cup of coffee or something before you go?”

  Shane frowned. “I didn’t actually intend to leave just yet.”

  “You didn’t get much sleep last night. And you’ve spent a lot of time away from the ranch on my behalf. I don’t want to interfere with your work.”