It Takes A Cowboy (Heart Of The West #5) Page 19

  To his satisfaction, a reluctant smile tugged at the boy’s lips. “Okay, I get the point.”

  Scott straightened and extended his hand. “Thanks, Jeff. I appreciate you giving me a second chance.”

  Jeffrey slipped his small hand into Scott’s, shaking it solemnly. Scott had to swallow a lump in his throat.

  Blair cleared her throat as if she was affected in a similar manner. “Jeffrey, why don’t you run over to Aunt Wanda’s and tell her how much fun we had today? I’ll call you in about an hour to come home.”

  “Are you going to yell at Scott?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  “Okay.” He smiled at her, then gave her a quick hug. “I had a great time today. Thank you.”

  “I had a good time, too.” She rested her cheek against the top of his head, and Scott couldn’t help noticing how much more comfortable they looked together now than they had when he’d first met them. He wanted to believe he’d had some part in that, though he didn’t like to think they had drawn closer partly as a reaction to his disappointing them.

  Blair walked Jeffrey out to the front porch, then watched until he was safely across the yard and inside his great-aunt’s house. Only then did she rejoin Scott, closing the front door behind her, her expression closed. “Why did you come here, Scott?” she asked wearily. “I thought you had a competition in Hawaii.”

  “I didn’t enter it. After I talked to you, I dropped everything and headed back here.”

  “Is that grand gesture supposed to impress me?”

  He winced. He’d known Blair would be harder to bring around than Jeffrey. He had hurt her—that was bad enough. But he had also hurt the nephew she had made a commitment to raise and protect—and that she would find much harder to forgive.

  *

  BLAIR REGRETTED her words as soon as she said them. She shook her head. “I’m sorry. As I said to Jeffrey earlier, there’s no call for either of us to be rude to you.”

  “And I’ll tell you the same thing I said to Jeff. Say whatever you want to me.”

  “Fine.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m sure you meant well by coming all this way to apologize, but it would have been better if you’d stayed where you were. I haven’t changed my mind about us.”

  “You still think it best if we say goodbye.”

  “Yes,” she said, finding it every bit as hard to say this time—maybe even harder after he’d made up so sweetly with Jeffrey.

  “Because you think I’ll continue to disappoint you? That I can’t be trusted to follow through on my promises to you and Jeff? You think I’m another self-centered wanderer like your brother and your father?”

  “I...didn’t say that.”

  “You didn’t have to.”

  “The thing is,” she said, determined to stay focused on logic and reason, “you and I are all wrong for each other. What happened this weekend is a perfect example of that. You weren’t obligated to be at the ranch to host us this weekend. You had every right to go to Hawaii with your friends. You very generously made arrangements for us to have a lovely day at your ranch, but it wasn’t enough for us. Jeffrey and I can’t seem to help wanting more from you, and you’re a man who doesn’t want any ties or commitments. We need order and security, and you crave freedom and adventure. It simply can’t work.”

  “It can if I’m willing to change,” he said quietly.

  Her chest tightened. “I haven’t asked you to change. There’s no reason for you to—”

  “I’ve already changed.” He reached out to pull her hands into his. “Blair, why do you think I panicked enough to run all the way to Hawaii?”

  “You went to Hawaii to surf.”

  “I went to prove that I was free to do so,” he corrected. “When Bobby called, my first instinct was to turn him down. To tell him that I had a prior commitment for the weekend. Because that reaction was so new to me—and so momentous—it scared me into telling him I would be there.”

  When she only looked at him in confusion, he laughed ruefully and tightened his grip on her hands. “Don’t you see? There’s never been anything so important to me that I couldn’t just ditch it if a better offer came along.”

  That made her frown and pull at her hands. “I understand. You wanted to go surfing in Hawaii more than you wanted to play tour guide for us at your ranch.”

  “No, you don’t understand. There was nothing I wanted to do more than play tour guide for you and Jeff—including surfing in Hawaii. I knew the minute I got on the plane that I’d made the wrong choice for myself. What I didn’t understand was that I had let you and Jeff down so badly.”

  “Surely you knew how much we wanted you to be there.”

  His smile turned crooked. “I guess I’m not accustomed to thinking of my presence as being particularly important to anyone.”

  As far as she was concerned, he had just made her point. “That’s exactly what I meant by differing expectations.”

  “I’m trying to tell you our expectations aren’t as different as you think. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life chasing one meaningless adventure after another, having no one who really cares if I ever return. I’ve had my reasons for living the way I have, but now it’s time for me to change my priorities. I’m not like your brother, Blair. I know it’s going to take time to prove that to you, especially after my stupid mistake this weekend, but I’m asking you to give me that time.”

  She didn’t exactly understand what he was asking. “Why would you want to change your whole life? Why would you want to give up the freedom you’ve had to go wherever you want, whenever you want, to do whatever you feel like doing?”

  “Before your nephew moved in with you, you were free to do whatever you wanted, right? Except for your commitment to your work, you could come and go as you liked, responsible for no one but yourself. Given a chance, would you go back to that now? Would you send Jeffrey away so you could have your freedom back?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “Why?” he asked simply.

  Although she suspected he already knew the reason, she answered anyway. “Because I love my nephew. I like having him with me. And because it makes me feel good to know I can make a difference in his life.”

  He smiled at her as if she were a pupil who’d just given him a very clever answer. “Exactly. And now you know why I’m willing to make changes in my life.”

  “No...why?”

  “Because I love you,” he replied gently. “I like having you in my life. And because I hope I have something to offer you in return.”

  His words hit her like a blow. She took an instinctive step backward, jerking her hands from his and holding them up as if to ward off another attack. “Scott, don’t—”

  “Don’t what, Blair? Don’t love you? It’s too late for that. Don’t tell you? I’ve already done that, too.”

  She was shaking her head, resisting a childish impulse to cover her ears. Hearing Scott tell her he loved her was simply too painful when she was so afraid to trust him with her heart. “You don’t know what you’re saying. It’s too soon. You can’t possibly—”

  “You think I don’t know what I feel?” He shook his head. “Blair, I’ve spent most of my life running from love. Now that it’s finally caught up with me, I know exactly what it is.”

  “It’s too soon,” she repeated helplessly. “You’ve known me such a short time. You can’t—”

  “Are you telling me it’s too soon for you to have any feelings for me?” he interrupted gently.

  She bit her lip and remained silent, unable to confess the truth.

  “Blair? Are you saying our lovemaking meant nothing to you? That there’s nothing I can do to make you fall in love with me?”

  How was she supposed to answer that without making herself completely vulnerable to him? “I...have feelings for you, Scott. I told you that before we made love. And I told you, as well, that those feelings frightened me because they seemed so ill-fa
ted. I haven’t changed my mind. I still worry that someone is going to be hurt. One or both of us—or, even worse, Jeffrey.”

  “I love you, Blair.”

  Her eyes closed and she moaned quietly. “Please, don’t...”

  He cupped her face in his hands, bringing his mouth close to hers. “I love you.”

  “Scott...”

  His lips brushed against hers when he said it again. “I love you.”

  Her breath left her in a sigh. “Oh, Scott...”

  His mouth closed over hers, and her resistance melted away. He sounded so sincere. So certain. So convincing. And even though she was still terrified by the potential for disaster, she was only human. And she loved him.

  “I’ll make this weekend up to you, Blair,” he muttered against her mouth, pulling her almost roughly into his arms. “I’ll prove to you that you can trust me, that I’m free to love you now.”

  She curled her fingers into his travel-wrinkled shirt. “This is crazy.”

  “No. This is the first sane thing I’ve done in years. I’ve been a fool in a lot of ways for a long time, Blair, but I’m not dumb enough to throw away the best thing that ever happened to me.”

  She couldn’t resist returning his kisses, sliding her arms around his neck. But she hadn’t surrendered entirely to the madness. “Scott?”

  He slid his mouth across her cheek, pausing at her ear. “Mmm?”

  “I want to take this slowly. I don’t want either of us to make promises we can’t keep.”

  “I never make promises I can’t keep. That’s why I’ve never been willing to make promises before. I’m willing to do so now.”

  She shook her head. “I’m not ready to hear them. Not yet.”

  “I understand. You want me to prove myself to you.”

  “No, that’s not what I meant. I just want to be sure....”

  He kissed her again, slowly and thoroughly, and then lifted his head to smile at her. “I’ll prove myself, anyway. You’re going to find me impossible to resist for long, Counselor.”

  She sighed. “I’ve found you hard to resist since the day I bought you, cowboy. And that’s what makes me so nervous.”

  He seemed satisfied for the moment. “Let’s go get Jeff. I’ve got a way to go to win him back yet.”

  Blair hoped he didn’t consider her completely won over. He had a way to go with her yet, too.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  WHATEVER SCOTT was trying to prove during the next few weeks, he went all out to do it. He was on Blair’s doorstep almost every evening when she got home from her office. He had dinner with them, took Jeffrey on “guy” outings when Blair had other plans, played board games with them and generally made himself a part of their lives. He sent flowers and balloons to her office, called just to tell her he was thinking about her and made sure he was never far from her thoughts. As if she could ever forget him...

  Jeffrey blossomed under all the attention. His tantrums declined in both frequency and intensity—especially when school dismissed for the term—and his moods were less volatile. He laughed more and mentioned his father less. He didn’t become a perfect child, nor would Blair have expected that, but the improvement was so marked that both Blair and Wanda were delighted.

  Scott, of course, took his full share of credit for the improvement. If there was one thing Scott was not, she thought wryly, it was self-effacing.

  She tried very hard to protect herself from his charms. But she was no more able to hold Scott at arm’s length than her nephew was. She laughed at his jokes, she sighed over his romantic gestures and she melted every time he kissed her. Because she was so determined to go slowly this time—and because Jeffrey was usually with them—there was no more lovemaking. Which didn’t mean she didn’t think about it. Often.

  They spent an entire weekend at his ranch, three weeks after the first attempt failed. Jeffrey was thoroughly spoiled by Scott’s staff—mothered by Margaret and Carolyn, treated like a favorite grandson by Jake and a cute mascot by the other hands. Jeffrey spent the entire time tagging along at Scott’s heels as faithfully as Cooper, the yellow Lab, and was acting like an old cowhand before the first day ended.

  “Your nephew is delightful,” Carolyn said to Blair when they found themselves alone together late Saturday afternoon. “He’s so bright. And so polite.”

  Though her heart swelled with pride, Blair couldn’t help laughing a little. “There are those who would be stunned to hear you say that.”

  Carolyn looked surprised. “I’m sure he’s a normal ten-year-old boy who misbehaves occasionally, but on the whole he’s a dear.”

  “Only a few months ago, he was a holy terror,” Blair admitted. “He came to me very angry and sullen and rebellious. He has come a long way in the past weeks, and I have to give Scott quite a bit of credit for that.”

  Carolyn smiled at her. “I think a great deal of the credit has to go to you. Jeffrey’s not the only one who has changed because of you. I’ve never seen Scott pay so much attention to his responsibilities here at the ranch and his other business holdings. It certainly makes my job easier. To be more honest than I probably should, I was beginning to wonder about his financial future the way he was running through money and caring so little about...well, never mind that. By the way, I’ve never seen him pay so much attention to a woman, either,” she added teasingly, “and I’m delighted.”

  Blair blushed like a schoolgirl.

  Excusing herself from Carolyn, she found Scott and Jeffrey at the main corral, where Jeffrey was riding a well-mannered paint while Scott looked on. “Look at me, Aunt Blair!” Jeffrey called, grinning at her from beneath the brim of a youth-size Stetson Scott had given him. “Scott says I’m almost ready for a real trail ride.”

  “We’ll be very careful,” Scott said quickly when Blair looked at him.

  She chuckled. “I know. Jeffrey hasn’t had a new bruise in days.”

  He slipped an arm around her shoulders and nestled her comfortably against his side. “He seems to like it here.”

  “Are you kidding? He loves it here. You would think he’d been born on a ranch instead of in a Midwestern city.”

  Scott smiled, but his eyes were serious. “He should probably spend more time here, then.”

  “I’m sure he would be delighted to come anytime he’s invited.”

  “I’m talking about a regular basis, Blair. I’d like both you and Jeffrey to start thinking of the ranch as a second home.”

  She moistened her lips. “That’s very gracious of you,” she said, a bit lamely.

  He scowled and dropped his arm, turning to face her with his chin tucked and his eyes narrowed. “Don’t do that, Blair. I think we’re beyond that now.”

  “Don’t do what?” she asked, startled by the sudden, rare flash of anger in his voice and in his expression.

  “Don’t treat me like a generous stranger. I’m not extending a gracious invitation, I’m asking you to consider living part time with me. And if that shocks you—and I can see by your expression that it does—wait until you hear about the more permanent arrangement I have in mind.”

  She clutched the fence rail in front of her, her knuckles white. “You’re not...you aren’t...”

  “Proposing?” He smiled again, though it was a crooked smile. “No. Not until you trust me enough to hear it without losing all the color in your face. I guess you could say I’m just preparing you for the eventuality.”

  She swallowed, asking herself what she would have said if he had proposed then. Wondering what she would say when—if—he ever did.

  “I love you, Blair,” Scott murmured, reaching out to touch her cheek, his momentary anger replaced by a rather sympathetic amusement. “And I will teach you to trust me that much—no matter how long it takes.”

  Or until he grew tired of trying and was off on another of his adventures? Blair realized how far she still had to go in her trust when that unwelcome question crossed her mind.

  “Scott. A
unt Blair. Watch me canter,” Jeffrey called, bringing the disturbing conversation to an end.

  The questions continued to echo in Blair’s mind as she turned to admire her nephew’s new equestrian skills. Unfortunately, she had no answers.

  *

  SCOTT CAME to her room that evening after everyone else had gone to bed. She was sitting in a wonderful old rocking chair, a hand-crocheted afghan across her lap, looking out the window at the glittering Wyoming sky, when he suddenly appeared in front of her like a spirit out of the shadows.

  “You really are very good at slipping in and out of bedrooms, aren’t you, cowboy?” she murmured, remembering something he had said during that weekend at his cabin—the first weekend they had spent together.

  “There’s only one bedroom I want to slip into these days,” he murmured, smiling at her in the moonlight. “Yours.”

  “Don’t you think you should wait for an invitation?”

  “If you want me to leave, just say the word and I’m gone.”

  She studied him standing there, so lean and beautiful in the soft light filtering in from outside. He wore nothing but a pair of jeans, and it was all she could do not to run her hands over every delicious inch of exposed skin. She was thinking of doing just that when she said, “No, don’t go yet.”

  He knelt beside her chair. “Do you know how beautiful you look sitting here in the moonlight?”

  She smiled and reached out to smooth his hair. “I was just thinking the same thing about you.”

  Catching her hand, he pulled it to his lips. “Do you know how difficult it’s been for me to spend the past three weeks with you and not make love to you?”

  Her hand trembled. “I know exactly how difficult it has been.”

  “I love you, Blair.”

  She let out a soft sigh of surrender. “I love you, too. But you know that, don’t you?”

  He kissed her knuckles. “I knew. I just wasn’t sure you did.”