In High Gear Page 20

“She’s probably right. She’s a smart girl, you know.”

  “Yes, I know.” She’d been smart enough to dump him, after all.

  “Okay, what is it?” Patsy demanded, her gaze zeroing in on his expression and letting him know that he had revealed entirely too much. “What’s going on with you and Tanya?”

  “I’m sorry, Mom. I know you said it would break your heart if Tanya and I broke up, and I know the feeling—but it looks like we might be headed that way.” If it hasn’t already happened, he added in silent misery.

  She reached out to lay both hands over his on his kitchen table, where they sat with cups of coffee and a cake she’d brought him from his nana. “I’ve known for weeks that something was wrong, no matter how many times you and Tanya have denied it. I know you think I’ve been trying to pry, but I only wanted to help. What’s happening, Kent? Is there anything to do to make it better?”

  He still didn’t want his mother to know about the ugly blackmail attempt. But he told her everything else, from his admission to Tanya about his college mistake—and her reaction to learning that he’d deliberately deceived her about it—to her rejection of his impulsive proposal.

  “She said we’ve been trying to be too perfect for each other,” he concluded sullenly. “Is that the craziest reason to turn down a proposal that you ever heard?”

  Patsy shook her head in disbelief, and for a moment he thought she was completely on his side. He should have known better.

  “Didn’t you listen to a word you just said to me?” she asked incredulously. “Tanya didn’t turn down your proposal. She said she wasn’t sure it was the right time for her to accept.”

  “Same thing.”

  “It is most definitely not the same thing. And she didn’t say you were too perfect for each other. She said you’d gotten into the habit of thinking that way and she didn’t think it was a healthy habit to be in. And she was absolutely right, by the way.”

  “You’re taking her side. I should have known.”

  “Don’t start,” she warned him, pointing a finger at him. “You know good and well I will always be on your side. It just so happens that I think being with Tanya is what is best for you. What will make you happy in the long run.”

  “Because we’re perfect for each other?” he asked wryly, thinking he would trip her up on her own words.

  She gave him a look and shook her head. “Because you love each other,” she countered. “Enough to make it work despite the obstacles, if you’d only try.”

  “I don’t know. She’s been acting strangely ever since I told her about State U.”

  “Has she really been acting all that oddly, or are you the one having the most trouble dealing with it?” she asked perceptively. “Maybe your own guilty conscience is causing you to project your own feelings onto her. You think she sees you differently because you know she now knows your darkest secret. Maybe you liked it when she saw you as a hero because it helped you bolster your own self-image.”

  He stared at her. “What is this, amateur-psych week? I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”

  “Yes, you do. You just don’t want to admit it.”

  He spent a moment sipping his coffee, thinking about the day he had proposed to Tanya. Only a couple of hours earlier, he’d deliberately presented himself to a group of adoring fans, just because he liked seeing himself as a hero in their eyes. Had he wanted Tanya to look at him the same way? Had that been why he’d worked so hard to keep his past from her? Did he really want just a mindless groupie to keep his ego stroked?

  No, of course not, he thought, setting his cup down with a thump. Tanya was an intelligent, competent, discerning woman and he wouldn’t want her to be any other way. He was the one who’d been guilty of helplessly adoring gazes. The real problem was that he had never felt quite worthy of her. He’d always been aware of her integrity, her spotless past, her high-brow background and upper-crust education.

  She could have pursued any career she wanted, but to her family’s slight dismay, she’d chosen to photograph weddings and date a NASCAR driver. He’d never gotten over what a lucky man that had made him. And maybe he had always carried the fear inside him that she would eventually realize that she was just too darned good for him.

  “Maybe I did try to be perfect for her,” he muttered, looking miserably at his mother. “She always seemed so perfect to me.”

  “And now you know she isn’t perfect.”

  “No. She says herself that she’s too judgmental. She’s sort of moody sometimes. And she says exactly what she’s thinking without bothering to soften it any.”

  “And how do you feel about her now?” Patsy asked steadily.

  “Like she’s perfect for me,” he said in return, unable to come up with any other words to describe it.

  Patsy smiled. “There you go then. You love her. You’re willing to do whatever it takes to keep her, right?”

  “Right.”

  “So tell her.”

  “Yeah, I guess I will.” He leaned over to kiss his mother’s soft cheek. “Thanks, Mom. But what if she shoots me down again?”

  “She won’t.” Patsy gave him a loving pat on the arm. “As I said, Tanya’s a smart woman.”

  “I hope you’re right.”

  Patsy’s smile faded. “Do you mind if I give you one more piece of advice?”

  “Of course. Please.”

  “When you and Tanya get back together, don’t forget to let her know how much you value her, will you? I know how much you love your job, but never forget what’s really important in this world. Don’t let winning become such an obsession with you that it overpowers everything else in your life, okay?”

  He didn’t like the expression on her face now. “Mom, if you and Dad are having problems—”

  She stood, smiling rather sadly down at him. “Let’s just focus on one relationship at a time, shall we? I have to go nag your sister now. Why don’t you call Tanya?”

  “Okay. I will.” But he couldn’t help thinking of his mother’s words after she left. Even as he made the decision to fight for his relationship with Tanya, he found himself hoping intently that his parents’ long marriage wasn’t heading into trouble.

  TANYA HAD A PRETTY YOUNG bride-to-be posed in front of a misty lavender backdrop in her studio when the telephone rang Wednesday afternoon. Mandy had gone to the bank, so Tanya murmured an excuse and took the call herself.

  Her heart jumped when she heard Kent’s voice on the other end of the line for the first time in more than a week. “Is this a bad time?”

  “I’m with a client, but I’m sure she’ll grant me a couple of minutes. Why did you call?”

  “I’m leaving for Las Vegas in the morning. I’d like for you to join me there this weekend if you can.”

  She bit her lip. “I have a wedding Friday night.”

  “Then come Saturday. Cappy will bring you whenever you’re ready.”

  “I, um…”

  “Are you backing down on your insistence that we need to get to know each other all over again?” he nudged. “Was that really just talk, after all?”

  “No, of course not,” she replied indignantly. “I meant every word of it.”

  “Then come to Las Vegas. Please.”

  She gave in, as he had probably known she would. “All right. I’ll call Cappy and make arrangements.”

  “Great.” Satisfaction all but dripped from his voice. “And by the way, you’d better tell your parents about my college days. If not, they’re liable to read about it in a newspaper.”

  “You’re making it public?” she asked, startled.

  “I’m not saying anything about that ridiculous blackmail attempt, but yeah, I’m going to come clean about why I left State U. Amy and I have already decided which reporter to reveal it to. It’s just going to casually ‘slip out’ during an interview in which I talk about how racing probably saved me from a life of crime.”

  She knew he was exaggerating a lit
tle, but she had no doubt that he intended to give the interview. “Why?”

  “I don’t like knowing there’s anything out there that can be used to hurt me or my family,” he replied flatly. “And I’m tired of pretending to be something I’m not. I’ve made mistakes. I’ll make more. My fans will just have to deal with that.”

  “I think you’ll probably find that you will have even more fans after this,” she said softly. “Everyone loves a guy who can admit he’s made mistakes and has learned from them.”

  “That’s what I’m counting on,” he replied. “I’ll see you in Vegas, Tanya.”

  “All right. And, Kent—”

  But he had already disconnected.

  IT WAS LATE SATURDAY evening before Tanya and Kent were truly alone together again. The day had been grueling, and they were both exhausted by the time they closed themselves into his motor home.

  “Well?” she asked wearily, turning to face him. “Was it as bad as you expected? Are you sorry you decided to tell?”

  He gave her a crooked smile and pushed a hand through his hair. “It wasn’t easy,” he admitted. “I didn’t realize it would become quite that big a story.”

  “Slow news week,” she reminded him with a shrug. “Something else will come along tomorrow to get their attention.”

  “Yeah, probably.”

  “You handled it all very well,” she told him gently, studying the faint lines of stress around his mouth. “You had them eating out of your hand by the end of the day. Everyone feels sorry for you for letting yourself get into such a difficult situation as a kid and carrying the guilt around ever since.”

  “That isn’t why I told the story. I just never wanted to get another blackmail letter—especially when there would always be leverage for one unless I did something about it.”

  “I know. But you made it work to your advantage, anyway. Oh, there will be some who’ll turn it against you. ‘Once a cheater, always a cheater.’ Some fans seem to thrive on that sort of trash talk. But you’ll prove them all wrong when you continue to behave in the same honorable and admirable way you always have.”

  He smiled at her. “Thanks for the compliments.”

  “They weren’t compliments. Just facts.”

  “Did you see the look on Justin’s face when he heard about it? Either he’s a better actor than I’d have thought, or he didn’t know anything about my expulsion.”

  “I thought he looked startled, too. I’ve told you all along that I doubted he was behind the blackmail attempt.”

  “I know. But I almost wish I could convince myself it was him. If not Murphy, then who?”

  “I don’t know,” she said slowly. “But I know someone who might. Why don’t I ask Lucy? She’s practically a computer genius.”

  “Oh, that will go over well. Asking your friend to investigate a guy she just broke up with.”

  Tanya shook her head. “I wouldn’t ask her to investigate Justin, specifically. I’ll just see if she can figure out where those e-mails came from. If they lead to Justin, then we’ll deal with it at that time.”

  He seemed to consider her suggestion for a moment and then he shrugged. “I’ll think about it,” he promised. “I’d almost rather forget all about it—but then again, I’d sure like to know who was behind that scheme.”

  “Just tell me when you decide.”

  He nodded, then reached out to snag her waist and pull her closer to him. “I’m glad you’re here, Tanya. It made those interviews a lot easier to have you standing by my side.”

  “I’ll always be on your side, Kent,” she assured him. “I love you.”

  “And I love you, too,” he murmured earnestly. “Everything about you, Tanya. Wrinkles and all, as you so inelegantly phrased it, even though you don’t really have any wrinkles.”

  “I will,” she said with a shrug. “Soon enough.”

  “And I will still love you every bit as much. As I told my mother recently, I don’t think you’re perfect. I’m not sure I’ve ever thought you were perfect, despite what you think. But I have always believed you’re perfect for me. I still think so.”

  “You told your mother that?” she asked, touched.

  He nodded. “She was yelling at me at the time for not paying more attention to the things you said to me. She took your side completely, by the way.”

  Tanya laughed softly. “I don’t believe that.”

  “It’s true. She pretty much called me an idiot for walking out on you the way I did. And she was right. I let my ego get in the way and I almost ruined the best thing in my life. I’m glad you’re giving me another chance.”

  She studied his face a long time without speaking. And in doing so, she came to a realization. “I was sort of an idiot, myself, that night. I wasn’t wrong to insist that we have to always be honest with each other and ourselves if we want our relationship to survive. But I should have made it very clear to you that there is nothing I want more than to marry you. I love you, Kent. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. We’ll get to know everything we need to know along the way.”

  “Wrinkles and all?” he asked huskily.

  “Wrinkles and all. So, if the offer is still open…”

  He reached into his pocket. “I’ve been carrying this all day,” he said, opening the ring box for her. “Just in case…”

  Nobody was promising that the next forty or fifty years were going to be easy, Tanya reminded herself as she melted into Kent’s arms. But they were going to be so very rewarding. Wins, losses and all.

  Neither of them would accept any other outcome to this challenge they had just taken on together.

  ISBN: 978-1-4268-1221-7

  IN HIGH GEAR

  Copyright © 2008 by Harlequin Books S.A.

  Gina Wilkins is acknowledged as the author of this work.

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