Hearts Under Caution Read online

  “Yeah, that would be great for Ronnie.”

  “But you still want Jake to win.”

  He gave her a tired smile. “Of course.”

  “Did you ever get dinner?”

  “I, er, had something. I think.”

  If he couldn’t even remember, it meant it had been too long since he’d eaten. And whatever he’d had must not have been particularly filling.

  “Sit down,” she said, motioning toward the built-in booth table. “I’ll make you a sandwich before you head for Jake’s motor home.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “Wade.” She planted her fists on her hips and gave him a look. “You’re almost swaying on your feet. I’m sleeping in your bed tonight. The least I can do is make you a sandwich.”

  She hadn’t meant to say it quite that way, of course. The brooding look in his eyes intensified when she referred to sleeping in his bed, but he let it go, merely nodding. “All right, that sounds good. Thanks.”

  As he slid into the booth Lisa opened the refrigerator door. The driver Wade employed kept the motor home well stocked with Wade’s favorite foods. Without even asking, she took out mustard rather than mayonnaise, cheddar cheese rather than American, bread-and-butter pickles rather than dill. She stacked the ingredients onto slices of whole wheat bread, added a handful of sour-cream-and-onion chips on the side and slid the plate in front of him.

  He had watched her closely while she’d prepared the meal. “I see you haven’t forgotten what I like.”

  “I remember how you like your sandwiches,” she replied casually, turning back to the stove to take the steaming teakettle off a burner. “Would you like some herbal tea? It’ll help you relax.”

  “I’d rather have a cola.”

  She poured him a cup of tea. “You don’t need the caffeine this late. Drink the tea.”

  His mouth quirked at one corner. It wasn’t exactly a smile, but close enough to give her a little satisfaction. “Getting back at me for being bossy last night?”

  “Maybe. What are you going to do about it?”

  He chuckled and reached for his cup. “I guess I’ll drink the tea.”

  Sliding onto the bench across from him, she held her cup loosely between her hands. She could almost see some of the tension seeping from him and it felt good to know she could take credit for that. To keep him distracted, she chatted lightly while he ate, telling him an amusing story about a particularly stupid criminal she had once prosecuted and how frustrated the defense attorney had become simply trying to keep his client from self-destructing in court.

  Wade didn’t say much, but she could tell she had his attention. When she’d finished that anecdote, he asked a question that led to another, so that they passed nearly a half hour without mentioning racing or Jesse Norris.

  Which didn’t mean, Lisa mused, that he didn’t think about the sport. She was well aware that no matter how much attention he seemed to be paying to her, part of his mind was still fully focused on getting Jake’s car across the finish line in first place.

  It would always be this way. With Wade—as with her dad, and so many others obsessed with this demanding career—racing came first.

  Vaguely depressed then, she set her empty teacup down. “Do you want something else? I’ve got cookies in the cupboard—or rather, you have cookies in the cupboard.”

  Smiling a little, he shook his head. “I’m good.”

  “You haven’t finished your tea.”

  “It’s cold now.”

  “Let me heat it up for you….”

  He reached across the table to catch her wrist as she started to slide out of the booth. “I’m fine, Lees.”

  She froze in response to his touch. “Um…yeah. Okay.”

  She thought he would release her then, but he continued to hold her hand in a light clasp. His thumb moved slowly against the inside of her wrist and she wondered if he felt the way her pulse hammered there. Probably. As hard as her heart was beating suddenly, how could he miss it?

  “Thanks for the sandwich,” he murmured. “I guess I was hungrier than I realized.”

  Looking down at his tanned, work-roughed hand covering her lighter, softer one, she cleared her throat silently before answering. “My pleasure. You’re sure there’s nothing else you need?”

  In response to the silence that followed her question, she lifted her gaze slowly to his face. The way he was looking back at her made her heart leap straight into her throat. And the answer to her question hung heavily between them—obvious, but unspoken.

  He slid out of the booth, drawing her with him as he rose to his feet. She stood in front of him, looking upward, trembling a little as she sensed his intention. When his head lowered, she lifted her face to meet him. Her hands slid up his chest as he gathered her closer and then her arms were around his neck as she allowed herself to be swept into his kiss.

  His left hand tangled in the back of her hair, Wade tilted her head to a new angle, allowing him to deepen the kiss. She felt the slightest tremble course through him and into her as she nestled into his arms.

  There had been electricity between them before, but it felt different somehow this time. Maybe it was because it had been so long since they had been together, or maybe maturity had added a new complexity to the attraction between them. Or maybe it was the awareness of the high stakes involved this time, at least on her part. Because she wasn’t at all sure she could walk away so easily this time.

  He broke the kiss, but kept his hand in her hair, his mouth very close to hers, so that she felt his breath warm against her damp lips when he murmured, “I’d better go.”

  “It’s too late,” she said, her voice husky. “Stay here.”

  “I don’t think that’s a very good idea.”

  “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

  His expression was rueful when he looked down at her. “I don’t think that would work.”

  She looked up at him steadily. “Then stay—and I won’t sleep on the couch.”

  For almost six years she had lived cautiously. Protecting her scarred heart. Letting few people get close to her, playing things safe. Running from danger, both physical and emotional. Keeping Wade, especially, at a distance so she wouldn’t be hurt again. Now she found herself willing to take a chance—if only to find out if there was still enough between them to make it worth the gamble.

  Wade lifted a hand to her cheek, his gaze focused on her mouth. “Remember last week, when I took a risk on a two-tire pit stop?”

  Though the question confused her, as it seemed to have little to do with their current situation, she nodded against his palm. “I remember.”

  “Some people have asked if that decision worried me. If I was afraid that the choice I’d made might have cost us too much.”

  She bit her lower lip, waiting for him to get to the point.

  He smoothed her mouth with the ball of his thumb, as if erasing the faint teeth marks. “I wasn’t scared then,” he murmured. “It was a calculated risk, and I knew the consequences wouldn’t be too severe if it didn’t pay off. We still had a shot at a decent finish. We weren’t going to fall out of The Chase.”

  His mouth twisted into an attempt at a smile that didn’t quite come off. “I wish I had some of that courage now,” he confessed.

  Had the supremely confident, utterly unshakable “Ice” McClellan just admitted that he was uncertain about what to do? That he might even be a little afraid of making the wrong move? And why did she find his admission of insecurity so darned irresistible?

  She rose on her tiptoes to brush her lips across his. “Let’s just call this another calculated risk,” she whispered and then pressed her mouth more firmly against his.

  Wade murmured something that might have been agreement, but she didn’t ask him to repeat it to be sure.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  LISA STIRRED AGAINST THE PILLOWS the next morning, feeling full consciousness slip into her mind and shoo away the rem
nants of sleep. She tried for a moment to cling to a particularly nice dream, but it was too late. Fully awake now, she opened her eyes.

  She was alone in the bed, though the pillow next to hers bore a head-shaped dent. She smiled. The window blinds were closed, so that only the thinnest slivers of sunlight were visible, but a glance at the clock let her know that it was after 8:00 a.m. Later than she usually slept. She had been pleasantly exhausted by the time she’d finally fallen asleep.

  After a quick shower, she dressed in a white polo shirt and jeans with sneakers. Casual and cool for hanging around the track. Sleeveless shirts and open-toed shoes weren’t allowed in the garage area, so she had dressed in a manner that was suitable for wherever she wanted to go that day. She slipped her lanyard around her neck, making sure her track credentials were clearly visible before she left the motor home.

  Her steps had an extra spring to them as she walked to the garages. Fans were beginning to arrive for the events scheduled that day, so she kept her guard up as she made the short trek, but she felt perfectly safe here. Chicago and Jesse Norris seemed very far away. She felt so good, actually, that it was hard to imagine she had any problems, at all.

  A very dangerous feeling, she cautioned herself. If she wasn’t careful, she was going to end up in serious trouble. And she wasn’t thinking about Jesse Norris at all now.

  As she approached the transporter for the Number 82 car, she spotted Wade huddled under the awning with several members of the crew. Wade held a clipboard and looked extremely serious as he talked. Everyone else listened intently, bodies poised to take action the moment he stopped giving instructions.

  She felt her throat tighten in response to seeing him like this. In his element. In charge. Looking so different from the man who had moaned her name last night.

  Hovering nearby, she watched as he completed his impromptu meeting and sent everyone scurrying. Only then did he look at her, and she realized that he had known she was there all along. Not much slipped past him here.

  Moving closer, he gave her a nod of greeting. “There are snacks inside. I think I saw Katie over by Ronnie’s hauler. You can either watch practice from here or go hang out with her. Just let me know where you’ll be during the day.”

  No “good morning.” No “sorry I didn’t get to stay and wake up with you.” No offer to let her stay close to him and learn more about his job. Just a list of terse instructions given in much the same tone he had just used with his crew.

  She tried not to take offense, though the smile she gave him felt strained. “I’ll manage to entertain myself. And I’ll be careful, so you don’t have to worry about me today.”

  “I’d still like to know where you go,” he said, already looking down at his clipboard.

  She wondered if she was one of the items listed there for him to monitor. She hadn’t really expected flowers and flattery this morning, she thought, making an effort not to pout, but a smile would have been nice.

  “Lisa.” He looked up at her then, frowning because she hadn’t yet answered to his satisfaction.

  “I’ll keep you informed,” she conceded grudgingly.

  He nodded. “I’ve got to go into the garage to check on a few things before practice starts.”

  “Don’t let me keep you.”

  Her irritation must have gotten through to him that time. He hesitated, and looked at her for a moment as if there was something he wanted to say, but then he merely nodded again.

  “I’ll see you around,” he said, and turned toward the garage area, striding away from the hauler without glancing back.

  “And a nice day to you, too, Ice,” she muttered acerbically.

  Behind her, Katie giggled. “That didn’t sound particularly friendly,” she commented, following Lisa’s gaze to watch Wade disappear into the garage. “Is Wade being a jerk this morning?”

  “As a matter of fact, he is.”

  Katie heaved a long-suffering sigh. “It’s that male chromosome. It’s broken, I swear.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “Why don’t you tell me about it,” Katie countered. “If you want a sympathetic ear, that is. Someone with the nice, sane female chromosome.”

  It was sorely tempting to tell Katie everything that had ever happened between herself and Wade, including last night. Maybe Katie could help her decide if there was any cause for optimism—or if Lisa had been destined to lose this race from the start.

  “You want to go find some coffee?” Lisa asked, glancing around. “Somewhere away from these testosterone-soaked haulers?”

  “As a matter of fact, I came over here to ask if you wanted to go do some shopping with Andrea and me. There’s a really cool outlet mall that’s just, like, a half hour or so from here. I have a rental car and a charge card and I’m ready to shop.”

  Andrea was newly engaged to Woodrow Racing driver Mike Overstreet, and had become a good friend of Katie’s. Andrea hadn’t been able to attend the race in Pennsylvania, but Katie had told Lisa all about her, promising that she would like her.

  “Come on, Lisa. A girl’s day out. The perfect antidote for PMS—Petulant Male Syndrome.”

  Lisa laughed. “You know what? That sounds like exactly what I need. I would love to go. Just let me get a message to Wade about where I’ll be.”

  Looking around, she spotted J.R. coming out of the hauler. “J.R., would you mind telling Wade that I’m going shopping with Katie and Andrea? Tell him I don’t know when I’ll be back but I’ve got my cell phone with me.”

  Though he looked distracted, J.R. nodded. “I’ll tell him. Have fun.”

  Lisa tossed her head. “I intend to.”

  PRACTICE WASN’T QUITE a disaster, but it wasn’t what Wade would have called a success, either. Jake was still unhappy with the car’s handling and his lap times confirmed that something wasn’t right. If they didn’t figure out what was wrong and get it fixed during the race, Wade figured they would be lucky to finish on the lead lap.

  Hungry, tired and frustrated, he took a break for lunch during the middle of the afternoon. Despite his concentration on his work, he’d been bothered all morning by the way he’d parted with Lisa earlier, so he took advantage of his brief downtime to go looking for her. He didn’t plan to offer an apology, exactly—after all, it wasn’t as if he’d snapped at her or anything—but maybe he should remind her that he wasn’t at his best, socially, when he was working.

  As far as talking about what had happened between them last night and what it meant for the future, well, he couldn’t even think about that yet, much less discuss it. Not if he intended to get through the rest of this working weekend with any semblance of concentration.

  She wasn’t in the hauler. He asked Digger if he’d seen Katie or Lisa, but Digger merely shook his head, adding that Ronnie was taking a nap in his motor home, resting up after practice. Since that told him Lisa wasn’t hanging out there, Wade figured she had to be in his motor home.

  He didn’t get worried until he found his motor home empty.

  He tried calling her cell phone, but all he got was her voice mail. He left a rather terse message for her to please call him immediately, but his phone didn’t ring as he prowled around the track compound, looking everywhere he could think of for her.

  “Hey, Ice.” Vince skidded to a halt in front of him. “Chuck wants to talk to you. He thinks he’s got a couple of new ideas about those adjustments we need to make, wants to run ’em past you.”

  “Okay, yeah. Tell him I’ll be there in a few minutes. You haven’t seen Lisa, have you?”

  “Lisa?” Vince shook his head. “Not since this morning.”

  “How about Katie Short?”

  “Nope. But about Chuck—”

  “I’ll be right there, okay?” Wade repeated impatiently. “Just give me a few more minutes.”

  “All right. Jeez, no need to get all testy.” Still muttering, Vince stormed off.

  Wade flipped his cell phone open again and dialed Lisa
’s number. His teeth clenched when he heard her prerecorded message again. “Damn it, Lisa, call me!”

  SHOPPING WITH Katie and Andrea was a pleasant experience. Lisa had a very nice time, spending entirely too much money at the outlet mall. Katie couldn’t resist purchasing several adorable little girls’ outfits, even though she was barely showing in her pregnancy, and Andrea purchased a few cute tops for herself.

  Breathtakingly beautiful, with long blond hair, a stunning face and a truly spectacular figure, Andrea Kennedy was surprisingly down-to-earth and likeable, which was probably why she and Katie had become such good friends. While she was obviously accustomed to male attention, Andrea was still getting used to being engaged to a man who lived in the racing world fishbowl.

  It felt good, she said, to spend a few hours away from the whirlwind with two other women who under stood what it was like to feel as though she were being constantly watched and evaluated. Still, Lisa could tell that Andrea found her new position exciting, that for the most part she enjoyed the attention.

  Both Katie and Andrea seemed happy with their lives in the shadows of their famous partners, she mused as she carried her bags into Wade’s motor home. Andrea had expressed no interest in a career of her own, and Katie was content with tutoring during the school year and anticipating being a mother. They knew what was expected of them, understood the delicate balance of sacrifices and rewards. And they were satisfied with the choices they had made.

  As happy as she was for them, Lisa felt an odd emptiness deep inside her after the excursion.

  She had just walked into the motor home when someone loomed out at her. “Where have you been?”

  Gasping, she staggered backward, dropping packages all around her feet. “Wade! You scared the daylights out of me.”

  “That’s because you didn’t bother to check the security system to see if anyone was in here.”

  She winced. “I guess I was thinking about something else.”

  “And is that your excuse for not telling me where you were going—even though I specifically asked you to keep me informed of your whereabouts?”