All I Want for Christmas Read online

  She told herself that it was only the season making her so painfully aware of her single state. So many of her friends were looking for the perfect gift for their mate, making holiday plans for their children, anticipating the Christmas-morning rituals. Ryan was just feeling a bit left out, that was all.

  Not something she could admit to a shopping-mall Santa Claus. No one, except maybe Lynn, knew how badly Ryan longed to find the right mate and start a family.

  She wanted love. And commitment. A lifetime pledge. Babies. Deep, soul-warming contentment.

  For some reason she thought of Max Monroe, with his take-me-if-you-dare smile and don’t-expect-too-much-from-me eyes. For a man like Max, marriage was a four-letter word—like jail. Or hell.

  Santa was watching her with an enigmatic smile. “Love isn’t such a difficult thing to ask for, Ryan,” he said, making her stare at him in surprise. “It’s taking a risk on it that’s hard for most people,” he added gently. “All you have to do is open yourself up to possibilities and be ready to act when the opportunity presents itself.”

  “I’ll—” she swallowed “—I’ll keep that in mind.”

  She wondered if he was putting her on, or if he’d been spending too much time in his Santa suit. Maybe his hat was too tight. Or maybe he’d watched Miracle on 34th Street a few too many times.

  The older man chuckled. “What a cynic you are,” he chided, but his tone was good-natured. She assumed he was responding to her expression, since she was reasonably confident that even the “real” Santa’s talents didn’t extend to mind reading.

  Her companion reached into a deep pocket of his red velvet jacket and pulled out a peppermint cane. He extended it to her with an old-fashioned flourish. “For you,” he said.

  She took the candy with a weak smile. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  The elevator suddenly hummed, jerked again and then started upward.

  Ryan smiled in relief. “We’re moving!”

  The car stopped on the third floor. The doors slid silently, efficiently open. Ryan stepped out and drew a deep breath of fresh mall air.

  She turned to look questioningly at Santa, who hadn’t moved. “Aren’t you getting out?”

  He smiled. “No. There are children waiting for me downstairs. Have a nice day, Miss Clark. And don’t forget about those possibilities.”

  The elevator closed before she could answer.

  Ryan stared in bemusement at the metal doors, the candy cane gripped in one hand. And then she shook her head. “Weird,” she murmured, turning away.

  She put the incident out of her mind as she hurried back to her shop. She had many hours of hard work ahead of her. No more time to waste on silly fantasies.

  PIP AND KELSEY CAME IN to visit the doll shop after their lunch, as Ryan had invited them to do. From behind the counter, Ryan smiled a greeting, though she was busy with a customer and didn’t have time to chat. She noticed that Kelsey stopped in front of the dark-haired doll at the front of the shop, the one that had so fascinated the little girl the day before.

  The children didn’t stay long. By the time Ryan had a break and could have spoken to them, they were gone.

  She busied herself behind the counter, picking up a jumble of shopping bags she’d dropped during a busy time earlier.

  Her assistant suddenly tugged on her shoulder, urging her to stand upright. “He’s back,” Lynn said in an urgent whisper. “And oh, Lordy, he’s even more gorgeous today than he was yesterday.”

  Following Lynn’s excited gaze, Ryan swallowed hard when she saw that Max Monroe had just ambled through the open door. She moistened her lips and then frowned at her grinning assistant. “Would you stop it? How would Jack feel about you ogling the customers, hmm?”

  Lynn giggled. “He’d approve if he knew I was only doing it for your benefit.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  Max didn’t pause, but continued to the counter, where Lynn and Ryan waited on customers. “Hi again,” he said.

  “Looking for a present for another niece, Mr. Monroe?” Ryan asked as Lynn moved discreetly away.

  “No.”

  Glancing around to make sure no one was listening, he leaned a bit closer to her. “Actually, I’m here to ask you for a date. Maybe we could see a movie or something?”

  “Max—”

  He touched her hand as it lay on the counter between them, giving her a look that made her voice fade. “I don’t mean to annoy you with my persistence, but I thought I’d try this one more time. I like the way you smile, Ryan Clark. I’d like to get to know you. I guess that sounds like a line to you—”

  “Yes,” she admitted a bit shakily. “It does.”

  “Sorry. But it’s true. Will you go out with me?”

  “I—it’s such a busy time for me,” she said, wondering why she couldn’t just tell him no.

  For some reason, she kept hearing the voice of the mall Santa Claus. “All you have to do is open yourself up to possibilities and be ready to act when the opportunity presents itself,” he’d said.

  Maybe she’d leapt to conclusions about Max Monroe. Maybe she’d written him off as a “possibility” without giving him a fair chance. Maybe he wasn’t really a heartbreaker, after all.

  And maybe pigs would fly, she thought, eyeing the devilish twinkle in his blue-gray eyes.

  “Just a movie,” he said again, his fingers tightening on hers. “There’s a nine-twenty feature in the theater downstairs. I can meet you here at nine when you close your shop and we can see the film without even leaving the mall, if that makes you more comfortable. C’mon, Ryan. It’ll be fun.”

  She felt something give inside her. “All right,” she heard herself saying cautiously. “I guess it would be fun to see a movie. I haven’t had a night off in a while.”

  His smile was blinding. “Great. Afterward, maybe we could have a cappuccino or something?”

  “Let’s just wait and see about afterward, okay?”

  He nodded, accepting her equivocation without protest. “Then I’ll meet you at nine?”

  “Fine,” she said, hoping she wasn’t making a big mistake. But how bad could it be? If he’d been trying to put her at ease by choosing a safe, very public setting for their first date, he’d succeeded.

  She suspected that he was entirely too good at this sort of thing. She’d have to be on her guard against him. But, still, she found herself looking forward to the evening.

  It really had been too long since she’d had a night out, she reminded herself. That was all there was to it.

  Max didn’t linger, but left the shop looking quite satisfied with himself.

  A plump matron with improbably red hair set a Barbie doll and several accessories on the counter in front of Ryan. “If a man like that had flirted with me that way while I was young and single, I know what I would have done,” she murmured to her shopping companion with a wistful sigh, making no effort to keep Ryan from overhearing. “I’d have latched on to him before he’d known what had him.”

  Ryan flushed, busying herself immediately with ringing up the woman’s purchases.

  “Not many like him come along,” the woman’s friend agreed heartily. “Did you see that smile? If I were ten years younger, I’d chase him down right now.”

  The red-haired shopper snorted. “Fifteen years, maybe,” she muttered.

  Business quickly became brisk again, to Ryan’s relief. She didn’t want time to dwell on the evening ahead.

  SHE THOUGHT OF little Kelsey at a quarter to nine that evening. Ryan was straightening the shelves, returning merchandise to its proper position, setting out a few new items in inviting poses, preparing for the next day’s business, when she spotted the dark-haired doll. Smiling, she picked it up and fluffed its full blue skirt.

  It was a pretty little thing, a numbered, limited edition from one of Ryan’s favorite sources. It was the only one like it she had received, and she had actually expected it to sell before t
his.

  She wished Kelsey’s mother would come into the shop so Ryan could mention to her how much the little girl seemed to want the doll. Maybe Kelsey had already told her.

  And then Ryan remembered the children’s shabby clothing. She frowned. It was entirely possible their mother couldn’t afford the doll.

  Ryan set it back in its place, telling herself that if Kelsey’s mother did come in, she would give her a very good deal. In this case, for Kelsey’s sake, she was willing to forgo her profit.

  There was something about that child that had gotten to Ryan. Pip, too.

  When she looked up, she saw that Max had arrived for their impromptu date, and everything else left her mind.

  IT WAS SOMETIME DURING the latter half of the movie that Ryan realized she’d been right to be suspicious of Max’s seemingly innocuous manner in asking her out.

  Oh, he’d started out casually enough. Escorted her into the theater as easily as if they’d known each other for years. Bought soft drinks and a huge tub of popcorn for them to share. Chatted about trivialities during the few minutes they waited before the feature started. Laughed along with her at the antics of the mixed-up couple falling in love on the screen.

  He’d waited until she was relaxed and at ease with him before making his move—which he did with a subtlety and skill that would have made the teenage boys surrounding them green with envy. Ryan couldn’t even have said when he scooted closer to her in his seat or when his arm slipped behind her.

  At first she thought it coincidence that his hand brushed hers so often as she reached for popcorn. A very pleasant coincidence. And then she noticed how long his fingers lingered, making her all too vividly aware of the feel of him.

  His thigh pressed lightly against hers, and she felt his warmth through the thin layers of clothing that separated them. His strength. Their shoulders touched; she felt him breathing. She could see his shadowed profile from the corner of her eye. His lashes were long, his chin firm, his mouth luscious.

  Gorgeous. And dangerous.

  The beautiful couple on screen eased into a slow, heated embrace. The background music was deep, stirring, swelling to a crescendo that seemed to throb through her. Max’s hand slid caressingly over her shoulder, down her arm, his fingers lingering just inches from her right breast.

  Ryan turned her head to look at him and caught just a glimpse of his smug smile.

  She straightened abruptly in her seat, dislodging his hand.

  Max immediately moved his arm, his expression innocently questioning. She focused her attention on the screen for the remainder of the movie, shaking her head when he offered her more popcorn.

  By the time the film ended and the theater lights came back on, she had herself firmly under control.

  Max insisted on walking her to her car, which she’d left in the parking garage behind the mall.” You’re sure you wouldn’t like to have coffee and dessert somewhere?” he asked for the third time since the movie had ended.

  “No, thank you,” she said, as she had the other times. “It’s late and I have to work tomorrow.”

  Standing very close to her, he backed her against her car and gave her a smile so seductive that Ryan figured he must have started practicing it in the mirror the day he hit puberty. She didn’t doubt that he’d been quite successful with it. It was all she could do to resist it herself.

  “I really had a great time with you tonight,” he said, his voice deep and sexy. “Thank you for agreeing to see me.”

  With an effort, she made her own smile bright and impersonal. “I had a nice time, too, Max,” she said lightly. “The movie was amusing, and I needed a break.”

  He lifted a hand to stroke her cheek. She trembled at his touch, though she tried to hide her reaction.

  She’d have bet her Christmas profits that he’d practiced this look, too. A look that tempted a woman to believe he found her beautiful. Desirable. Special.

  “I want to see you again,” he murmured, his mouth hovering mere inches above hers. So close she could feel his warm breath caressing her cheek, making her tingle in response.

  Oh, yeah, he was good. Even knowing exactly what he was, she might have been as susceptible as the next woman, if he’d come along a year ago. Six months, even.

  Okay, so maybe she’d been accused of being rigid and inflexible on occasion. Maybe she was. But her thirtieth birthday was inching closer and she didn’t for a minute believe that Max was looking for a permanent relationship. A holiday fling was all he had in mind, and she simply didn’t have time for such foolishness. Nor would she put her heart at risk with a man who’d undoubtedly broken more than his share of them.

  “I’d better go,” she said, sliding skillfully out of his loose embrace just as his mouth lowered toward hers. “Thanks again, Max. It’s been fun.”

  He blinked. His expression would probably make her laugh when she thought about it later. Obviously, he wasn’t accustomed to having women cut him short when he went into his turn-her-knees-to-jelly routine. “Uh—”

  She opened her car door. “Good night, Max. Maybe I’ll see you around sometime.”

  “But—when?” he demanded, trying to detain her.

  She closed the door and smiled through the driver’s-side window. “Good night,” she called through the glass, deliberately ignoring his question.

  She started the engine. He had to move back quickly or she would have flattened his toes as she drove away from him.

  She glanced into her rearview mirror. He was still standing where she’d left him, looking after her with obvious bewilderment. She smiled sadly.

  He wasn’t such a bad sort. A little vain, definitely cocky, but he was charming and probably a lot of fun to spend time with. At least until he grew bored and moved on.

  As intriguing as he was, Max Monroe was no more husband-and-father material than…than the mall Santa was the real Santa Claus, Ryan told herself ruefully.

  It was a shame, actually. Max Monroe was the first man who’d made her tremble in longer than she could remember.

  LYNN STONE and part-time employee Cathy Patterson spent the first hour at work Sunday afternoon trying to get Ryan to tell them about her date with Max. She told them she’d had a nice time, advised them to see the film for themselves and informed them firmly that she had no plans to see Max in the future.

  “Did he ask?” Lynn demanded, daring her to lie.

  Ryan sighed. “He asked. I said no. There’s no point in it, Lynn. He’s just not my type.”

  “Lynn said he was gorgeous,” Cathy said. “And that he had a killer smile.”

  “He is and he does,” Ryan admitted. “But that’s not enough reason for me to get involved with him.”

  “And why not?” Lynn challenged. “Do you really want to spend the entire holiday season alone?”

  “I’m not alone. I have my father and my brother. And I used to have good friends,” Ryan added pointedly.

  As she had expected, Lynn ignored the subtle rebuke. “But as you said yourself, it’s a couples’ season. And you aren’t even dating anyone. Wouldn’t you at least like to have a date for New Year’s Eve?”

  “You,” Ryan told her friend, “are making me crazy. Would you stop with this Max thing? Couldn’t you tell by looking at him that he’s nothing but trouble? You know I would love to meet someone and fall deeply in love and get married and live happily ever after. But not with a guy like that. He’s not the settling-down type.”

  “Okay,” Lynn conceded. “So Max Monroe probably isn’t destined to be your soul mate. But do you have to be alone all the time while you wait for Mr. Right to appear? Can’t you just have fun with a guy occasionally? And even you have to admit that Max would probably be a lot of fun, especially if you don’t expect too much from him to start with.”

  “From what Lynn’s told me about him, I’d bet he’d be a lot of fun,” Cathy seconded. “Loosen up, Ryan. Enjoy yourself for a change. Then, when the right guy does appear, you’ll be
ready to settle down and devote the rest of your life to raising kids and running that chain of doll shops you have in mind.”

  Ryan shook her head. She didn’t see any reason to mention that she was ready for that now—more than ready.

  She’d accomplished so many of the goals she’d set on her twentieth birthday. She’d seen Europe and Australia. She’d earned her degree, with honors. She’d started her own business and thus far was doing very well with it.

  She had a great apartment, a lot of good friends, a loving and supportive family. All that was lacking was a life partner.

  And no man she’d met so far had even come close to the ideal mate she had in mind. Including Max Monroe.

  “Excuse me,” she said to her co-workers. “I believe I see a customer in need of assistance. Several of them, as a matter of fact.”

  Finally taking the hint, Lynn and Cathy busied themselves in the shop. Ryan did the same.

  IT WAS JUST BEFORE THREE when she spotted the little girl standing in front of the dark-haired doll. Ryan was surprised. She hadn’t expected to see Kelsey at the mall for a third day in a row. She appeared to be alone this time; Pip was nowhere in sight.

  Ryan moved toward the child. “Hello, Kelsey. This is a nice surprise.”

  Kelsey’s rosy face lit up with her smile. “Hi, Ryan. I just came to visit the doll again.”

  “You’re always welcome to stop in,” Ryan answered. “Um—is your mother with you?”

  Kelsey’s smile faded. “No, ma’am. My mother’s dead.”

  Ryan choked. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry, I didn’t know. Where—where’s Pip?”

  “He went to the park,” Kelsey replied, carefully holding the dark-haired doll. “He wanted to see Max play football.”

  “Surely someone is here with you.” Ryan couldn’t believe that a tiny six-year-old was in a crowded shopping mall alone.

  “Pip brought me,” Kelsey volunteered. “He said for me to stay here until he comes to pick me up. He gave me a dollar,” she added, digging in the pocket of her faded little jeans. She held up a well-used bill. “See? He said I could buy a cookie.”

  Genuinely concerned now, Ryan knelt in front of the little girl. “Kelsey—sweetie, surely there’s someone who takes care of you. Someone besides Pip, I mean. Your father, maybe?”