The Doctor's Undoing Read online

  He searched her face, and his expression wasn’t hard to read that time as he weighed his options. And then he sighed lightly, dropped his hand, and moved an inch backward. “Some things are just too valuable to gamble on.”

  She reached out and caught his shirt, gathering the fabric just above his heart in her right hand. Giving a little tug, she brought him back to within touching proximity. “Some risks are worth taking.”

  She lifted her face as he lowered his. He hesitated a breath away from her mouth, as if realizing—as she was—that everything between them would change once their lips touched. As worrisome as that thought was, she made no attempt to draw away when he closed that short distance.

  There was no first-kiss tentativeness, no fumbling or awkwardness. Ron’s mouth closed over hers with the confidence of intimate acquaintance. And her entire being responded as if welcoming him home. Her fingers tightened spasmodically on his shirt, holding him in place. Her eyes closed, allowing her to concentrate solely on the feel of him, the taste of him, the warmth of him. All sensations she would have sworn she’d experienced many times before.

  How could it feel this right when a wary little voice inside her kept screaming warnings?

  He lifted his head. Eventually. Slowly. And though she was tempted to tangle her hands in his hair and keep him there, she allowed him to back away.

  “Thanks for dinner,” he said, inching toward the exit.

  He was running. Maybe he needed to process what had just happened between them. She knew she did. “You’re welcome.”

  Had she known when she’d invited him that there was a chance something like this could happen?

  She suspected she had.

  She followed him to the door. “I’ll see you at lecture tomorrow.”

  He nodded. “Yeah. See ya.”

  His expression shuttered now, he opened the door and stepped out.

  Holding the open door, she spoke impulsively. “Ron?”

  He looked over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

  “Nothing has to change between us, you know.”

  He gave her a faint, crooked smile, so different from his usual cocky grins. “We both know it has already changed, Haley.”

  Biting her lip in a silent acknowledgment of his point, she closed the door between them.

  Okay, so she and Ron had kissed. And she couldn’t deny that she was the one who’d initiated it when he’d been on the verge of backing off.

  Lying in her bed, staring sleeplessly at the darkened ceiling, she replayed the entire scene, and certainly not for the first time since he’d left a few hours earlier.

  She supposed it had been inevitable. That kiss had been building for a while. Since Georgia McMillan had put the idea in their heads? Or had she merely commented on something that had been simmering between them almost from the beginning?

  She already knew the answer to that rhetorical question.

  So, she was drawn to Ron. And vice versa. More than a casual attraction—the heat between them had built from the start. Sometimes erupting in temper, other times in barely suppressed temptation.

  Restlessly rearranging her pillows, she pulled the sheet to her chin. Like Ron, she worried about doing anything that would permanently affect their friendship. Attraction or no, she valued the connection between them. The shared memories, the mutual support and encouragement. The bond that had been forged among the five study friends during those sometimes nightmarish first two years. The celebrations of accomplishments and milestones. Each of her friends was precious to her.

  She had a pretty good track record of staying on good terms with former lovers, she reminded herself. She and Kris had parted on very amicable terms, and she still remained in loose contact with her two college boyfriends. So even if she and Ron allowed themselves to explore the feelings between them, it didn’t mean they couldn’t remain friends when it ended.

  And it would end, she thought, punching her pillow. There were so many strikes against them. Their differing personalities. The career commitments they had made that would keep them busy for several years yet before they could even begin their practices. Not to mention Ron’s notorious reluctance to make a full commitment to anything. Or anyone, for that matter. She remembered hearing him make several only half-joking comments about being a confirmed bachelor who valued his independence.

  It wasn’t as if she was looking for anything serious, herself. She had another year and a half of medical school, including preparation for the Step 2 exams. Then five years of residency, followed by getting established in her chosen career. She certainly wasn’t saying she wouldn’t make a commitment to anyone during the next seven years, but she didn’t think it would be soon. Nor was it likely to be with a man whose stated philosophy was, “If it’s not working out, just walk away.”

  So…a temporary affair, perhaps. With the understanding from the start that it was nothing more. Wasn’t that what she’d had with Kris? They’d had fun for a while, then gone their own ways, both emotionally richer for the experiences they had shared. They hadn’t given up and walked away—not the way Ron defined walking away, anyway.

  Or maybe it wouldn’t even go that far. Maybe a few kisses would satisfy the itch, or the curiosity, or whatever it was drawing them together. They could play it by ear. See what happened. She could do that without risking too much, as long as she kept the limitations in mind from the start.

  It wasn’t as if she was falling in love or anything.

  Flipping again, she gave the pillow another hard punch.

  He wasn’t going to rush this. Fighting his characteristic impulsiveness and impatience, Ron was determined to take things slow with Haley. They’d had two years to get to know each other as friends; now they had plenty of time to explore any new options between them.

  He greeted her in the students’ room the morning after The Kiss with his usual teasing remarks, neither pretending the incident hadn’t happened nor making any specific reference to it. Though her cheeks were a bit pinker than usual, she responded in the same way, chatting easily with him, laughing or groaning at his jokes, even punching his arm once, making him chuckle.

  He glanced at his watch. “Time to get back to work.”

  “Yeah, me, too. See you later, Ron.”

  “Want to have dinner together after work? Maybe study a little?”

  Her hesitation might not have even been noticeable to anyone else. Her smile might have looked entirely natural to someone who didn’t know her as well as he did. Which made it all the more satisfying when she nodded and said, “Sure. I’ll meet you after work.”

  One step at a time, he told himself, tucking his stethoscope more snugly into his pocket and heading for the wards. They’d shared the first kiss, and now they needed to spend more time together—not as classmates or study partners, but as a potential couple.

  Taking it slow—but definitely taking it forward. Satisfied with that observation, he turned his attention to his young patients.

  Mia’s birthday was the last Saturday in September, and Connor invited everyone to their house for a birthday barbecue. He told Ron it was the first time since he’d started medical school that he had time to properly celebrate Mia’s birthday. This time he wanted to do it right.

  He invited the study group, of course. He’d also extended invitations to a few of his and Mia’s coworkers from the school where they’d both taught before he’d started medical school and she’d entered graduate school to obtain her doctorate in education. A few other mutual friends of Connor and Mia’s rounded out the sixteen-person guest list.

  Haley, of course, had volunteered to help with the party. It wasn’t a surprise affair, but Haley wanted to make sure Mia didn’t have to go to any extra effort for her own birthday. Though Connor said he had everything under control, he’d asked Haley to meet with him briefly the Wednesday afternoon prior to the event to go over his list and make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything, just as a precaution. He’d told her to bring R
on along so the three of them could chat a little before the party, where he would be too busy hosting to have much time for catching up.

  Connor was waiting at the coffee shop when they arrived. Seated at a small table with three chairs, he sipped from a steaming cup as he made notes on a pad in front of him. He looked up with a smile when they walked in. Standing, he brushed a light kiss over Haley’s cheek and shook Ron’s hand.

  Ron watched Haley and Connor while he placed an order for Haley’s latte and his espresso. Connor had obviously spoken literally when he’d referred to his list. Haley had her head bent over the pad of notes and was involved in a spirited discussion with their friend. Ron figured there would be no details overlooked by the time Haley and Connor were finished today.

  They were talking about food for the party when he carried the two steaming drinks to the table, setting Haley’s latte in front of her. She looked up with a slightly distracted smile. “Thanks, Ron.”

  Immediately turning her attention back to Connor, she said, “I’ll bring enough of the broccoli slaw for twenty people. That should be plenty.”

  “You’re sure it’s not too much trouble?”

  “I wouldn’t have volunteered if it were too much trouble.”

  Connor smiled at her. “I really do appreciate it. Mia loves your slaw.”

  “You’re sure there’s nothing I can bring?” Ron asked. “I really wouldn’t mind picking up some drinks or something.”

  “All taken care of,” Connor assured him gratefully. “But thanks.”

  “I’m still amazed that everyone’s free that afternoon,” Haley commented after taking a cautious sip of her beverage. “It’s pretty much a miracle these days.”

  “No kidding. With the five of us on different rotations, it’s hard to be sure when anyone has the same Saturday off. Not to mention my own crazy schedule right now, with me in ob-gyn and Mia buried up to her neck in classes and assignments, and Alexis enrolled in after-school dance classes and soccer—let’s just say things are sort of hectic at the Hayes house these days.”

  “And what’s new about that?” Ron teased.

  Connor’s home life had been complicated for as long as Ron had known him. Before his first semester of med school was half over, Connor had learned he was fully responsible for a six-year-old daughter whose existence had been a secret to him until that time. Then he’d realized he was falling in love with Mia, who’d moved in to help him with Alexis. Connor had known Mia for several years as a friend and coworker before he’d realized his feelings for her were more than platonic.

  That thought made Ron glance at Haley, who was already going over the list one more time with Connor.

  Finally reassured everything was on track, Connor folded the list and stuck it into his computer bag. “You know you’re both welcome to bring guests, if you like. There will be plenty of food for everyone.”

  Ron shook his head. “Haley and I will come together.”

  Haley shot him a look and he almost winced. She didn’t have to say a word to let him know she wasn’t pleased he’d made that decision without consulting her first.

  As if sensing an undercurrent between them, Connor looked quickly from Haley to Ron. His only response was a nod, and then a change of subject when he asked how their weeks were going in the general peds wards.

  Hoping he hadn’t just set their progress back a step, Ron made an extra effort to be amusing during the remainder of his and Haley’s short visit with Connor. He was rewarded with smiles and a couple of laughs from her. He was even ridiculously pleased when one of his outrageous comments elicited a punch on his arm, proving he really was pathetic when it came to Haley.

  Taking it slow, he reminded himself. But still taking it forward. That was all he could ask, for now.

  Chapter Six

  No one seemed to find it odd that Haley and Ron arrived at the birthday party together. Nor that they’d gone in together on a birthday gift for Mia. That had been Ron’s idea. Saying he had no clue what to get on his own, he’d convinced Haley they could get something nicer if they pooled their money—and if she made the selection. She’d purchased a very pretty scarf and signed her name and Ron’s on a casually humorously birthday card. Everyone knew she and Ron were on the same rotation and were spending time together on the wards, so she figured no one would read too much into them carpooling and gift-pooling.

  Though she and Ron were now spending quite a bit of time together out of the hospital, too, she wasn’t quite ready to announce that they were seeing each other as more than study buddies.

  They weren’t rushing into anything. The full extent of their relationship at this point was having dinner together and studying together after work. There had been a few more kisses. Carefully controlled, but each a little more heated than the last. She thought Ron was trying to be careful not to move too fast, not to derail this…whatever it was…before it started. She didn’t think he was deliberately trying to whet her appetite, or to leave her frustrated and impatient for more. But if that had been his intention, he’d have achieved exactly what he’d hoped.

  She could hardly look at Ron now without remembering how it felt to be close to him. How warm and solid he felt pressed against her. She found herself daydreaming at odd times about the spicy scent of his aftershave. The springy feel of his thick hair wrapped around her fingers. The way his lips were both firm and soft when they moved against hers. And she spent entirely too much of her free time wondering when—or if—they would progress beyond kisses. Imagining what it would be like when they did.

  Maybe that was what he hoped to accomplish, after all.

  They were noticeably hesitant to talk about what might be developing between them. They laughed a lot when they were together. Talked about work. Chatted about their mutual friends. Studied. She talked some about her family and her background; he seemed to enjoy hearing stories about her past, but he was still very reticent about his own. She figured that would come in time.

  They didn’t talk about the future beyond the next rotation.

  She figured Ron was no more ready than she was to go public as a potential couple…or whatever they were, even though he’d been awfully quick to announce they would be arriving together when Connor had suggested they could bring other guests. She was prepared to act that afternoon as if nothing at all had changed between them, and she assumed he would, too.

  She was right…to a point.

  It was a beautiful afternoon. A crisp hint of autumn in the clear air. The sky a rich blue dotted with fluffy white clouds. Brightly colored balloons hovering above the long, folding-leg table Connor had set up to hold the plates of food. A few people sat around the family’s picnic table to eat, but almost everyone sat in folding chairs, holding their well-filled plates in their laps. James hadn’t been able to make it, being on call at the hospital that afternoon, but the rest of the gang was there.

  After everyone had eaten, Connor brought out a beautifully decorated cake he’d ordered from a bakery Haley had recommended. Everyone sang Happy Birthday to Mia, who accepted Alexis’s eagerly offered assistance with blowing out the candles. All the guests agreed that the cake tasted as good as it looked.

  While Ron helped Connor and some of the other guys clear away the barbecue equipment, Haley was gathering trash into a large plastic bag when Drew Maples caught up with her to stuff a couple of crumpled paper napkins into the bag. “I caught these blowing across the grass.”

  She smiled at him. “Thanks.”

  She’d met Drew earlier. In his mid-thirties, he was of average height and appearance, but had an infectious laugh that made Haley smile when she heard it, just as it seemed to do everyone else. He was Alexis’s soccer coach, and had become quite friendly with Connor and Mia. He was a single dad; his lively eight-year-old son was romping around the outskirts of the birthday party, kicking a soccer ball with Alexis and her best friend, McKenzie, whose mother was busily stretching plastic wrap across bowls of leftovers.
/>
  “So you’re one of Connor’s medical student friends?”

  Tossing a paper plate into the bag, she nodded. “Yes, I am.”

  “What kind of medicine do you want to practice?”

  It was a common question when people found out she was in medical school. Most people seemed to think every medical student started training with a specific goal in mind; the ones who did enter with a plan often changed their mind sometime during their classes and rotations.

  “I haven’t decided for certain yet,” she replied, as she usually did. It was too complicated to explain all the options she was currently considering.

  “Connor seems pretty set on family practice.”

  “Yes. He’ll be good at it.”

  “I think so, too.”

  “So you coach soccer,” she said, because he seemed to expect her to continue the conversation.

  “Yeah. But that’s just a hobby. In my real life, I’m a heating and air-conditioning technician.”

  Tying the drawstring at the top of the filled garbage bag, she glanced at the little boy now climbing on Alexis’s playground set. “Your son is very cute. He certainly plays well with Alexis and McKenzie.”

  He followed her to the large garbage can on one corner of the patio, lifting the lid for her so she could deposit the bag. “Yeah, he’s a good kid. He stays with me on weekends, and with his mom during the weeks. Doesn’t give either of us any trouble. Hope that doesn’t change as he gets older.”

  She smiled. “I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

  “Are you from around here?”

  “I grew up in Russellville.”

  “Yeah? I’m from Morrilton, myself. We were practically neighbors.”

  He was definitely flirting. Keeping her smile friendly but just a little distant, she motioned toward the big tub filled with melting ice and a few remaining cans of soda. “I think I’ll have a diet cola. Would you like something?”

  “No, but let me get one for you. Diet, you say?”